Immediately after Chic-fil-A decided to remove the Jim Henson Muppet promotion, the moved up The Berenstain Bears promotion of giving out free books with purchase. The Berenstain family has posted on their website a distancing of the promotion and saying they have no say in this promotion. It was decided to move forward with it well before this whole anti-gay thing started.
The book being distributed is heavy on the Golden Rule…which seems a little ironic given the situation. I’ve always loved bears…now I love them even more!
Brother Bear says…Bullies can point out what about you is wrong, but a good friend can show you what about you is strong.
I think I’m beginning to get a little better understanding of what is happening on the planet at this time. All of this talk of gay rights, Christianity and chicken got me so upset over the last week that I seriously began to doubt that we, as a species, would ever really find a way out of this. It felt hopeless. I have never felt the level of despair and hopelessness I’ve felt recently. As bad as it has ever gotten for me and my life, and believe me I’ve had some rotten times mixed into the great stuff, I’ve never ever lost hope that it could get better. Until I saw how people treated each other this past week. The things that were said were hurtful on both sides. All of a sudden you either believed in Jesus Christ and his selected bible passages…or you were a total heathen and deserved death, hatred, or at the very least, to be vilified.
I’ve lived a pretty sheltered life for the most part. I didn’t have the same experience of coming out as a lot of teenagers and others have had. My parents accepted me the minute I told them I was gay. That was at 11 years old. At 9 years old I remember telling my dad that I was different than the other boys. I didn’t know why I was different…I just remember liking my boy friends and loved being with them. My dad and I sat on the floor in my parent’s bedroom and talked about it. He assured me that there was not a thing wrong with my feelings nor about my feeling different. He told me it was normal and that it may change, but not to worry about it…just be myself. Then we listened to music together…Roger Whittaker to be exact. The song I remember from that time is New World in The Morning. The lyrics went like this:
Everybody talks about a new world in the morning.
A new world in the morning so they say.
I, myself don’t talk about a new world in the morning.
A new world in the morning, that’s today.
And I can feel a new tomorrow comin’ on.
And I don’t know why I have to make a song.
Everybody talks a bout a new world in the morning.
New world in the morning takes so long.
I’m very appreciative of my parent’s love and acceptance of me. Unfortunately, a lot of people don’t experience that kind of love like I did. Whenever I did experience being called a fag or other hateful words intended to hurt me, I paid no attention. I embraced it for the most part. If you were going to call me fag or gay, then I’d be the best fag or gay you’d ever met. It was the ultimate in revenge really. In Junior High and High School I went so far as to wear makeup to school and dress in crazy clothes. Luckily it was the 80’s so you could pretty much get away with crazy stuff like that and everybody thought it was cool….mostly.
So here we are in 2012 and arguments are being started, wires are being crossed and a few people are stirring the pot for whatever reason. It reminded me when I read Plato’s Republic. The metaphor of the cave in particular, I believe, applies to this situation. There are a group of people in a cave. (cave could be interpreted to be life here). The people inside the cave can only look upon the shadows cast upon the wall of the cave before them. Light comes to them from a great fire burning behind them, higher up, and at a distance. Located between this fire and the people of the cave is a road at a higher level along this road a low wall has been built. Here other people have puppets, which they use to cast the shadows upon the cave wall.
These shadows are given names by the people in the cave, and they consider them to be real things. However anyone outside of the cave in the bright sunlight would no longer see the shadows (or be under the illusion manifested by the puppet show). The people inside the cave cannot stand the bright light of the sun outside, and so always avert their eyes back to the shadow wall.
These are the people who seem to be asleep to the spiritual world, dreaming a dream of worldly consciousness, and afraid of waking up. The process of ‘waking up’ or turning away from the obsession with ego, and the mundane awareness, away from the shadows and back toward the light, is Metanoia – the transformation of the mind from that which is worldly to that which is the light of true consciousness.
People, at any time, can choose to not be enamored by the shadows in the cave. The shadows have names…freedom of religion, the right of a business to operate however they want, the right to be married, the fear of God’s wrath when we say we know better than Him. All of this is just a temporary distraction from what is really going on here…there is a brighter place that we have feared to go to together. There are puppets used as distractions so we stay in the cave. There is fear that you will wake up and stop believing all this. But it’s really hard to save face and change your mind. There is an art to changing your mind. Christian’s can change their mind and stand on higher principals of love and acceptance. But if they did they would have to accept love in all it’s forms. My gay brothers and sisters would have to have a lot of compassion and understanding while we all grew together and come out of this cave. And we’d have to remember that there are going to be those who are SO committed that we stay where we are that they will use any means necessary to keep us there…including dividing us, killing us and separating us inside our communities. If there is a devil…surely this is it.
So what now? We are on the cusp of something big…I can feel it. All the distractions and smokescreens that will be thrown our way cannot take us off course from our journey together. But they will try. Chic Fil A is a distraction/shadow. Sarah Palin eating at their place and flaunting it is a distraction/shadow. Hate groups aren’t anything new…but they are also a distraction. The KKK was a distraction. It’s ALL a distraction. It’s nothing but shadows. So let’s get our head back in the game here and look for a way to bring this together. There is a new world coming…and a new world in the morning, that’s today.
Be kind to each other. For everyone (all of us) is fighting a hard battle.
Thank you dad (and mom) for the inspiration for this. You did a great job with me and I love you for it.
Oh how I love Alanis. Her lyrics are so amazing. Here she sings of moving into being a guardian not only for her new child…but for herself. So amazingly put in her song that I wanted to share it. She’s taking care of her child…but she’s taking care of herself so she can do that. I love that! Her new disc is coming out soon…
This little boy wrote a speech on acceptance and about people loving whomever they want. He sounds so amazing and loving. His speech was originally banned from his doing it in school so they brought him to New York City Council to give it. It’s really amazing and beautiful and so well spoken. I hope more kids grow up like him! Great job!!
The long and short of it– on 8/1 (the day Mike Huckabee wants Chick-Fil-A supporters to patronize the restaurant) go to Chick-Fil-A. Ask for a large water and nothing else. See if they adhere to Proverbs 25:21 and give it to you. If they do, yay! You took a few cents from their hate fund! If they don’t, well…I guess they’re proving their principals aren’t so “biblical.”
Watch the video and if you’re in, pass the word on, please and share this post! #Proverbs2521
I’ve spent some time thinking about the whole Boy Scouts and Chick Fil a thing. I saw someone in my life publicly support their stand against gays on FaceBook today. They absolutely have the right as private groups to set their own rules as much as I disagree with them. But. I think it’s good that companies and organizations that subscribe to these narrow, demeaning and separating beliefs are being brought out into the spotlight to show the true nature. Love will always win out. I don’t have to worry about a single thing. I have faith. And as a Boy Scout growing up it was some of my favorite times. My mother was a DenMom and made thousands of cupcakes and snacks to support me. And I so desperately wanted to be like other boys without the drama of being a kid. And there, in my little group, I was. Anything was possible. They never spoke of anything other than love and being an outstanding citizen. And even when I told my Scout Master that I felt different than other boys, he built me up and told me I was ok. It had to be difficult for him since I was the first he’d probably ever had to deal with. I’ll never forget my experience there. And even though i can never give back by being a leader there because of who I am privately I think I’d make a great Scout Master. And I know this phase of growth for them seems difficult and hateful. But it’s where they are and they need to go through it and we have to be understanding that just like the exclusive use of clubs, restaurants, water fountains and restrooms were once commonplace for blacks and Jews, this too shall pass. It’s only a matter of time. And love will win. I have no doubt about this at all.
The last thing I’ll say is that I saw someone close to me “like”a thing on Facebook supporting the Boy Scouts decision to ban gays. My heart jumped and I felt a feeling I haven’t felt in a long time…the feeling of being wrong and sick and lost. I haven’t felt that way for a while. I don’t blame him. It’s not his fault. I had hoped that by knowing me as a grown, successful, caring, loving man that it would somehow change the perceptions of gays. Maybe I realized how much more work there is to do. But I sat there for a few minutes not saying anything and felt empty.
Love will win. Even when it’s not won yet, it will. I am confident enough to tolerate the pain until then. So go ahead Boy Scouts. Go ahead Chick Fil A. The times are changing and love will win. It is only a matter of time.
About a week ago I was commenting on some photos on InstaGram. Someone had posted a really horrible comment about gay youth and how they should just go ahead and do everyone a favor and end their lives. They also said some crappy things about the suicide rate rising among gay youths was a good thing, that it was taking care of a problem in society. These comments were coming from another teenage girl. It was hard not to get angry at her. And her friends were equally disgusting. They freely quoted the bible as the justification for their comments and reasoning. My first reaction was to bombard the posting with comments of my own, which a lot of people seemed to be trying to do. But these girls were armed with enough information to hurt others, which is what most people do when they don’t understand something. And most disturbing…they learn this from people in charge. Parents who say things and people from their church who spew hate while preaching love and tolerance. I’m not the first person to post something about this so this isn’t anything new. It feels hopeless to ever try to change their minds or their thinking.
But then I remembered something that I had made a huge difference for me! I remembered that I don’t have any control over their speaking and thinking. I don’t have any power over the adults who will continue to pray for us but spew hateful things while singing hymns. I don’t have any control over any of that. But….I do have control over me.
I don’t believe I was born any certain way. I don’t know if God made me this way. I don’t know if my upbringing, my friends, my baby food, my medicines, my clothes, our financial status when growing up, or having all sisters made me gay. And in the long run, would any of that really matter? Would it really matter if any of that was the source of my sexuality? I love being gay and I thank God every day I got to be the man I am.
So, No. It wouldn’t matter. Because here I am now. Lady Gaga sings Born This Way. I think it’s something bigger than being born this way and so we can’t help it. It’s not our fault…we were born this way. I think Mother Monster actually meant something bigger. (I love you Lady Gaga!!)
10 years ago I actually chose my life. I chose the life I have. I chose to embrace who I knew myself to be and gave my self permission to choose to be gay. That’s right. I said I chose to be gay. I chose everything that is including in that choice. I am responsible for my life and who I am right now. Not the people who think they can pray for me or hope I change or ask God to forgive me for my “ways.”
I remembered this while those little girls where saying what they were saying. I remembered thinking to myself “they don’t have a choice.” They didn’t have a choice to be accepting or not. They are being fed this constant stream of out-dated thinking toward other people. They are baby girls with futures in front of them just like every other child out there. And their future isn’t any less bright than any other child’s future. And our job is to educate them that they have a choice, too. They can choose their life, exactly as it is, and exactly as it isn’t, but they don’t know that! And when you can choose your life this way, you have freedom. You have the freedom to be whomever you want to be or not to be.
So, my response to the InstaGram stream was simple. I hope it makes a difference for anyone out there struggling with this. Being born this way (any way you think you might have been born) plus choosing the life you have, equals amazing power and freedom.
So to all the teens out there struggling or wondering if something is wrong with you….no matter what anyone says….no matter what anyone in charge may say…no matter what your parents say…no matter what your pastor says….no matter what your family says, you are perfect. And you are fabulous in every way. But don’t take my word for it! The best way to find out if this is true is to go live life so fully and fabulously that even the dirt on the street says how fabulous you are!
Go…live life and be fabulous! And choose life every time! If for any reason you, or someone you know, is struggling with their sexuality or thinking they are not worth living life fully, it’s our job to remind them how awesome and amazing they are.
I love you and honor you and wish you nothing but the best in life. You can email me or comment here if you need any help! Click the picture below to be taken to the Born This Way Foundation that Lady Gaga and her mom created or you can go to BornThisWay.org. Thank you for reading and I love you!
I gave up Diet Coke last week. I’ve long heard it was bad for me, etc. I read a lot of web articles and found horrifying things and some not so bad things. Everyone says its bad for you. but people continue to imbibe. I’m not a preachy person (about most things) and I’m not going to start. I don’t really know anything about Diet Coke, other than its been my best friend for a very long time. We’ve woken up together in the morning and watched Good Morning America. We’ve watched movies together. We’ve gone out to eat and always preferred the company of DC rather than DP (you know who you are). And we’ve worked long days and catered events together. But sadly I ha to say goodbye to my dear friend Diet Coke. You told me we were friends to my face, but you were stabbing me in the back while we made the world smile. I even turned my other friends on to you. And you took them and me for granted. I’m not angry you did it. I always knew in the back of my mind we would never work out forever. But it didn’t stop me from trying.
In the past week and a half, I’ve not had any headaches other than minor caffeine struggles in the beginning. Nothing I would want to go through again, but nothing I couldn’t handle. I’ve felt less swollen in my joints. My knees and legs don’t hurt as much. And I’ve grown to like sparkling mineral waters. I’ve been able to sleep a little better. And I’ve gotten more aware of what I’m putting in my body. I’m not perfect with it and I do miss your company. Nothing feels better than eating something salty and chasing it with your sweet burn. But the possible circumstances and unknown-ness of your safety overall were too much of a risk.
So I wish you well Diet Coke. I know lots of people will continue to love and adore you. You’ve gotten me through some good and bad times in my life. But this is where we go our separate ways. Goodbye.
Downtown Harold's Place 