I stopped caring about my weight in 2001.  I remember running the day before 9/11.  I think I even remember running through the Montrose area the day after and remember looking up at the sky and it being so quiet.  There were no planes allowed in the air and it was quiet.  I always brought $5 with me to buy a bottle of water or a watermelon Gatorade when I got to the little store on Westheimer.  It wasn’t much.  But this was my routine.  I can still remember the taste of the Gatorade on some days…even though they don’t make that flavor anymore.  

I was really stressed during this time of my life.  Even though I had a pretty good job that I somewhat enjoyed, I knew it was time for a change.  I lost my job by the end of September.  I’d like to say it was because of the economy crashing or that parties were being cancelled…even though this was true.  I got fired but I wasn’t afraid for some reason.  I even ended the call I was on with the employment office to file for unemployment benefits.  I drove over to Copy.Com in the Montrose and I sat at the counter and thumbed through a book of artwork to choose the new logo of my new catering company I would start.  I continued my exercise and eating well through this difficult time.  But, something changed.  By the end of October I was eating fast food.  By the end of November I had stopped running.  By New Years Eve I had gained several pounds but I wasn’t terribly unhappy.  I just felt depressed in ways I had not thought imaginable.  Maybe it was the shock of all that horrible stuff that happened on 9/11.  Maybe it was losing my job.  Maybe it was all the crummy stuff I had to deal with during that time of my life….but the bottom line is I simply stopped caring about my self.

Two months ago I stopped drinking Diet Coke.  I weighed about 265 pounds.  I felt dead on the inside…but I kept going on with my life.  I wasn’t particularly unhappy; just not happy.  I stopped drinking Diet Coke because the pain I had in my body wouldn’t subside no matter how many pills I’d take.  So I started drinking water and stopped the sodas.  I had to try something…anything.  A few weeks after stopping the sodas, I started to feel less bloated and less swollen around my joints and knees.  My doctor gave me more encouragement to work out with a personal trainer by giving me a gift card and a phone number to Tom Jackobs here in Houston.  He was a personal trainer who is also an author who wrote Get Off Your Butt and Do Something.  Tom and I met one day in his office and I was really nervous.  But he was so understanding and patient with me that I soon found myself willing.  I was willing to make a change in my life.  But not just a quick change that would be a quick fix…but like a permanent change for my life.  I’d not felt this certain about making changes for my life since I got sober over 14 years ago.  I’m not sure what switch got flipped while I talked with him, but I’m glad it did.

Since that day I’ve worked out at least two times a week at Tom’s gym.  The trainers are really so nice, but they push me and give me encouragement. Rayme has been my favorite since I joined.  I feel safe with her and like I have a partner…I’m not alone.  Tom is there most of the time and we say hello…I feel like he’s always rooting for me even if he doesn’t actually say it in those words.

I’ve found a new love of Memorial Park and the track around Rice University.  Three miles that I’ve gotten down to about 43 minutes.  I started at an hour.  But I’ve walked faster and faster every time.  I actually started to run yesterday…my body felt lighter and like I could handle it.

I weighed myself this morning.  I weigh 240 pounds.  I expect that I’ll break into the 230’s this week and I can actually see the 220’s in my view.  My body is looking good…and I’m getting compliments now.  Monday starts The Meltdown Challenge with Tom.  There are 10 people in the challenge and the winner gets a pretty cool prize.  Tomorrow I’ll be planning out my meals and portioning foods.  I’m excited and even a little scared.  I’m writing this post because I have to make it public what I’m dealing with and what I’m going through.  I know it will help other people.  I know it’s helped me.  The challenge is for 28 days.  Since this is my birthday month (on the 10th) I thought it would be a great way to celebrate.  My goal is to lose 20 pounds.  I haven’t seen 220 pounds since 2001, but I know it’s coming again.  I’ll keep posting my progress and challenges and I hope you’ll support me in this.  The weight thing is just really for fun.  My feeling good is most important to me these days.  And I feel good.

I’ll write again this week to update you.  If you have questions about what I’m doing or want to encourage or support or even play with me…I would really love that!  Feel free to email me or message me here.  I’ll share whatever I can so that we all win.  Thanks in advance for your love and support!