What’s So? Funny You Should Ask

Recently I had the pleasure of participating in a fabulous online course with Landmark Education. The course really was designed to give those participating power and freedom in these times we live in. I loved it and got so much out of it!

One of the handouts was a quote from Werner Erhard, a personal hero of mine in the world of personal growth and development. I’ve been a huge fan of his work and always wished I had a chance to participate in some of that earlier work he created and would still love to meet him one day!

The quote was from a talk he did and it was called “What’s So”. It’s a wonderful exercise in getting to what is actually so about anything in your life so that you can deal with THAT and not with the drama and story around what you may perceive as your life. I know I’m paraphrasing here and it’s hard to really boil down all that is in that magnificent document into a paragraph because so much of the intention and spirit of it is left off when I do that. My best friend and I would read the document every day and look at areas of our lives that we had been stuck on or were experiencing lacks of power, freedom, and full self expression. It wasn’t hard to find them especially given this world of pandemic and craziness with the economy and all that good stuff!

One thing we discovered was looking at the document from an “I” perspective really illuminated some interesting concepts that hadn’t shown up in previous readings, so we took the document and redid it in a format that has it speak to the reader like you are talking to yourself. It has been a real revelation for me in so many areas that I just had to share it here!

I’m going to post the two versions of the quote so you can see the difference and use whichever you’d like. I hope it makes a difference for you in whatever area of your life you may be working on. I’m always available to talk to anyone about anything regarding these documents and thanks for being a reader of my website! I know it’s been a while but it is what it is. I decided to get started again so I can keep the creativity flowing!

Here’s the first quoted document in it’s original form followed by the second version in the “I” form. Enjoy!

WHAT’S SO

What’s so is always just what’s so. What’s so doesn’t care what you think, feel, intend or wish; it will not bend. You can be freaked out or driven over what’s so, and it won’t change what’s so. If you’re late for an appointment, getting freaked out about it won’t have you arrive any earlier. If you’re having a bad day, being freaked out won’t change what’s so.

That which you seek will not bring you satisfaction – aligning with what’s so will.

When you’re upset, you’re never upset over what’s so. What’s so is just what’s so, and you’re upset.

If your house burns down and you get upset, does it bring your house back? What’s so doesn’t care if you’re upset; it’s up to you how you handle what’s so. There is no confusion in what’s so. When you don’t know you just don’t know – there is no confusion there.

There’s nothing right or wrong about what’s so. What’s so is always open to different interpretations. There’s always just what’s so, and then you have an interpretation.

What scares you isn’t what’s so, it’s your interpretation. The interpretation is never true; what’s so is real, the interpretation is not.

Who you’re being is just who you’re being, and what’s so doesn’t care if you’re happy with it or not, so why should you? When you’re not being with what’s so, that’s also just what’s so. Why should you concern yourself?

Other people should always be the way they’re being; if you think they shouldn’t, that’s your interpretation. Bring yourself back to what’s so about them. Until you can be with what’s so, you can’t be with anything or anyone. You may have control over other people’s what’s so, but none over their interpretation – give it up.

If you take action or not, it’s still just what’s so. If it works out well or not, it’s still just what’s so. You can never make a right or wrong decision or take a right or wrong action.

Whatever you do will always bring you more of what’s so, and then you have an interpretation about it. Whatever you don’t have, so what? Whatever you’ve done or thought in the past, again so what? Whatever happens in the future is not to be feared. It’s just going to be more of what’s so.

The challenge is to spend as much time in what’s so as you can. The chatter in your head is more interpretation, and it has nothing to do with what’s so. There’s nothing wrong with the chatter, it’s just you listening to a fantasy.

The thought that there is something wrong is an illusion; there is nothing wrong, there is only what’s so.

Notice when you’re comparing what’s so to some fantasy of how it should be. Bring yourself back to what’s so and it will be O.K.

Ask yourself what’s so and align with that. Align with what’s so and it will not matter. That is the foundation of transformation and satisfaction.

Not aligning with what’s so is the only thing that will ever bring you hardship or suffering. Life in what’s so will bring you harmony, grace, and balance.

The other side of what is so is so what.

Werher Erhard

What’s So (“i” Version)Inspired By Werner Erhard

What’s so is always just what’s so. What’s so doesn’t care what I think, feel, intend or wish; it will not bend. I can be freaked out or driven over what’s so, and it won’t change what’s so. If I’m late for an appointment, getting freaked out about it won’t have me arrive any earlier. If I’m having a bad day, being freaked out won’t change what’s so.

That which I seek will not bring me satisfaction – aligning with what’s so will.

When I’m upset, I’m never upset over what’s so. What’s so is just what’s so, and I’m upset.

If my house burns down and I get upset, does it bring my house back? What’s so doesn’t care if I’m upset; it’s up to me how I handle what’s so. There is no confusion in what’s so. When I don’t know I just don’t know – there is no confusion there.

There’s nothing right or wrong about what’s so. What’s so is always open to different interpretations. There’s always just what’s so, and then I have an interpretation.

What scares me isn’t what’s so, it’s my interpretation. The interpretation is never true; what’s so is real, the interpretation is not.

Who I’m being is just who I’m being, and what’s so doesn’t care if I’m happy with it or not, so why should I? When I’m not being with what’s so, that’s also just what’s so. Why should I concern myself?

Other people should always be the way they’re being; if I think they shouldn’t, that’s my interpretation. Bring myself back to what’s so about them. Until I can be with what’s so, I can’t be with anything or anyone. I may have control over other people’s what’s so, but none over their interpretation – give it up.

If I take action or not, it’s still just what’s so. If it works out well or not, it’s still just what’s so. I can never make a right or wrong decision or take a right or wrong action.

Whatever I do will always bring me more of what’s so, and then I  have an interpretation about it. Whatever I don’t have, so what? Whatever I’ve done or thought in the past, again so what? Whatever happens in the future is not to be feared. It’s just going to be more of what’s so.

The challenge is to spend as much time in what’s so as I can. The chatter in my head is more interpretation, and it has nothing to do with what’s so. There’s nothing wrong with the chatter, it’s just me listening to a fantasy.

The thought that there is something wrong is an illusion; there is nothing wrong, there is only what’s so.

Notice when I’m comparing what’s so to some fantasy of how it should be. Bring myself back to what’s so and it will be O.K.

Ask myself what’s so and align with that. Align with what’s so and it will not matter. That is the foundation of transformation and satisfaction.

Not aligning with what’s so is the only thing that will ever bring me hardship or suffering. Life in what’s so will bring me harmony, grace, and balance.

The other side of what is so is so what.

From Original What’s So document by Werner Erhard

Grateful for Life

Today is the one year anniversary of the shooting that took place in Orlando at the Pulse nightclub.  Forty-nine of my LGBTQ community were just wiped away for nothing more than being in a nightclub and having a good time. The most horrific quote I read was from one of the survivors who said he had danced to the beat of someone’s death.

My heart breaks for all of us as a community but especially for those that were there that night and the family members of those that were hurt or killed.  I cried when I read about the one body not claimed by the family because he was gay.  I cannot even fucking imagine how you can leave your son there for someone else to deal with like a throwaway.  Who do you have to be to do that?  What do you have to believe in?  What do you have to worship?  I hope whatever God they believe in forgives them for that and also eases their pain as surely they can never forget what they had done.

Im one of the lucky ones  my parents love me and they tell me nearly every day they can.  I’m grateful for my mom and dad, but mostly I’m grateful for life, itself. I’m grateful for who I get to be every day and I’m grateful for the life I’ve been given. I don’t always take the best care of myself or my life but I sure am glad I got the chance.

To everyone out there who loves and celebrates life on their own terms, I wish you a Happy Pride Month!  May our lives continue to make a visible difference for those that can’t yet or who have yet to come to know who they are.  We are here for you and we’ll celebrate you and love you until you can love yourself.

🌈🦄💛💚💙❤️💜🖤👨🏻‍🎤👨‍👨‍👦👩‍👩‍👦👨‍👦🐻🐼🐷⬆️⬇️↔️🔀🔂♿️🚹🚺💟🖤💜❤️💙💚💛🦄🌈

“The first three shots: I thought it was music.

I felt the bass in my body on the floor against that wall. I felt it. I saw it.

I thought it was the music.

Then glass shattering, the air filling with smoke. The flashing of the gun looked like a strobe light.  I danced to the beat of someone’s death.

Everyone getting down.”

Chris Hansen, a survivor.

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A Spell for You in 2017

A very good friend of mine posted something on her Facebook page today that I just had to share with everyone!  But first, I had to look up who originally created the words that came together so beautifully and that made me sit up in my chair and think, “wow!  I want that!”

The inspirational quote was originally posted back in 2015 as an excerpt from a book by Rob Brezsny called PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA.  I know nothing about the book but I’m fascinated by the excerpt.  I think it literally hits a spot in me that makes me want to jump into action and cause something amazing this year.   I loved the quote so much that I bought his book as well.  (Pronoia is the opposite of Paranoia in that you start working from the universe is indeed out to get you and support you and empower you and bring all goodness your way.  I’m going to need practice for that!)

Anyway…here’s your new motivation for 2017.  I put a meme of the quote at the bottom of the page as well as a link to Amazon for Rob’s book.  Enjoy it.  Embrace it.  Go out there and live it.  We need a good year!  Here’s to an utterly FABULOUS new year!

A SPELL FOR YOU IN 2017

your debts forgiven

your wounds healed

your apologies accepted

your generosity expanded

your love educated

your desires clarified

your uniqueness unleashed

your untold stories heard

your insight heightened

your load lightened

your wildness rejuvenated

your leaks plugged

your courage stoked

your fears dissolved

your imagination fed

your creativity uncorked

–Rob Brezsny

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2017 Spell for You

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Pronoia by Rob Brezsny

 

It’s Only a Manner of Time…

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I’ve spent some time thinking about the whole Boy Scouts and Chick Fil a thing. I saw someone in my life publicly support their stand against gays on FaceBook today. They absolutely have the right as private groups to set their own rules as much as I disagree with them. But. I think it’s good that companies and organizations that subscribe to these narrow, demeaning and separating beliefs are being brought out into the spotlight to show the true nature. Love will always win out. I don’t have to worry about a single thing. I have faith. And as a Boy Scout growing up it was some of my favorite times. My mother was a DenMom and made thousands of cupcakes and snacks to support me. And I so desperately wanted to be like other boys without the drama of being a kid. And there, in my little group, I was. Anything was possible. They never spoke of anything other than love and being an outstanding citizen. And even when I told my Scout Master that I felt different than other boys, he built me up and told me I was ok. It had to be difficult for him since I was the first he’d probably ever had to deal with. I’ll never forget my experience there. And even though i can never give back by being a leader there because of who I am privately I think I’d make a great Scout Master. And I know this phase of growth for them seems difficult and hateful. But it’s where they are and they need to go through it and we have to be understanding that just like the exclusive use of clubs, restaurants, water fountains and restrooms were once commonplace for blacks and Jews, this too shall pass. It’s only a matter of time. And love will win. I have no doubt about this at all.

The last thing I’ll say is that I saw someone close to me “like”a thing on Facebook supporting the Boy Scouts decision to ban gays. My heart jumped and I felt a feeling I haven’t felt in a long time…the feeling of being wrong and sick and lost. I haven’t felt that way for a while. I don’t blame him. It’s not his fault. I had hoped that by knowing me as a grown, successful, caring, loving man that it would somehow change the perceptions of gays. Maybe I realized how much more work there is to do. But I sat there for a few minutes not saying anything and felt empty.

Love will win. Even when it’s not won yet, it will. I am confident enough to tolerate the pain until then. So go ahead Boy Scouts. Go ahead Chick Fil A. The times are changing and love will win. It is only a matter of time.

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Here’s to the crazy ones…

I know this quote has been made and heard a lot lately, especially since the death of Steve Jobs.  But I wanted you to re-read it and think of yourself as one of those crazy ones.  One of the ones who sees things differently.  One of those who can’t be ignored because they change things.  So, please re-read it again for yourself.  I did this morning and it was enough to get me out of bed and get me back in action for life today.  Hope you find strength in it today as well…

Halloween Fun

I just finished a spot on Fox26 in Houston this morning.  The segment was on Halloween fun ideas and I swear it took me over two weeks to worry about what I was going to talk about and only 2 to make it all come together!  It’s always like that for me…some ungodly gift of last-minuteness that the universe seemed fit to endow me with.  (LOL…I said endow)

I googled every possible term for a cool thing to do.  But then it hit me!  What would I want to do if I was really wanting to do something fun, creative and good.  It helped if it was good.  Sometimes the creative and fun doesn’t always come out as good.  Lord knows I’ve tried to make them good but they don’t always come out that way!

But today was different.  I did simple food.  But it was fun, creative AND good.  I found a couple of good ideas that I want to share with you here.  They were super simple.  And they are super super cute!  So I hope you enjoy them.  I wore a mad scientist outfit, which I will probably regret forever wearing in public because i looked like a big gay troll doll.  But it’s cool…anything in the name of entertainment right?!  So here were my treats… The first one is these totally adorable graveyard pots…super super super cute!!!

Dark Chocolate Graveyard Pots de Crème

Ingredients

14 ounces (about 3 cups) semisweet or bitter-sweet chocolate, roughly chopped

2 large eggs, plus 2 yolks

2 1/2 cups whipping cream

1/3 cup coffee-flavored liqueur

1/2 cup chocolate wafer crumbs

Preparation

1. In a food processor or blender, whirl chocolate until finely chopped. Pour into a bowl. Put eggs and yolks in the processor or blender.

2. In a 4-cup glass measure, heat whipping cream in a microwave oven (see Notes) at full power (100%) until cream boils, 3 to 5 minutes.

3. With processor or blender on high speed, add boiling cream to egg. Check temperature of mixture with an instant-read thermometer; if below 160°, pour mixture back into glass measure and reheat in microwave oven at full power until it reaches 160°, stirring and checking at 15-second intervals.

4. Combine hot cream mixture, chopped chocolate, and liqueur in blender or processor (or whisk the ingredients together in a large bowl); whirl until smooth, about 1 minute.

5. Pour chocolate mixture into 8 ramekins or glasses (1/2-cup size). Chill until softly set, 30 to 45 minutes. If making ahead, cover and chill up to 1 day. For creamiest texture, let desserts stand at room temperature about 30 minutes before eating.

6. Spoon 1 tbsp. wafer crumbs onto each pot de crème. Insert a Tombstone Cookie into each serving.

Tombstone Cookies

Ingredients

2 tablespoons cocoa

6 tablespoons butter, softened

1/2 cup sugar, plus extra for sprinkling cookies

1 large egg

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

Melted semisweet or bittersweet chocolate

Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 400°.

2. In the large bowl of an electric mixer, beat butter and 1/2-cup sugar until creamy; beat in egg and vanilla.

3. In another bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, salt, and cocoa; gradually add to butter mixture, blending thoroughly, to form a soft dough. Divide dough into thirds, cover each portion tightly with plastic wrap, and refrigerate until firm (at least 1 hour), or up to 3 days.

4. On a floured board, roll out dough, a portion at a time, to a thickness of 1/8 in. (keep dough refrigerated when not in use). With a sharp knife, cut out free-form tombstone shapes (about 1 1/2 by 3 in.; cut bottom edges at an angle to make them easier to poke into the pots de crème), and place slightly apart on ungreased baking sheets. Sprinkle generously with sugar.

5. Bake cookies until edges are lightly browned, about 8 to 10 minutes. Transfer to racks and let cool completely before handling.

6. Using a pastry bag with a very fine tip, pipe the letters “RIP” in chocolate on at least 8 of the cookies. Stick these cookies into the Dark Chocolate Graveyard Pots de Crème and serve the rest of the cookies alongside.

Recipe courtesy of myrecipes.com

I Should Know…

I love business. I love seeing what makes business tick. Entrepenuers really inspire me. What it takes to make a business succeed and thrive, no matter what the economic climate, is something to admire. There are so many books out there that tell you what to do, how to do it, why you should do it and how often. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. If only it was that easy to make it happen. What is the difference between those that CAN and those that DO? Is it really a matter of doing the right things or is it something else?

Any business person worth their weight will tell you it’s probably a combination of all of these things. I want to explore this. I am going to look at different ways we are making it work. Some of it will be specific to this economic climate and will have applications as such. A vast majority of it I want to explore will be applicable to any climate.

What if the success of your business was NOT based on the economy. What if your ability to get a good job had NOTHING to do with the job market?

I’m not saying it’s the truth…but we have to start there. We are all given the right to be happy and successful in this life. Don’t you think it’s about time you had that? Well alright.

I’m going to recommend books and blogs and ideas. I’m also going to recommend courses and classes. You don’t have to do anything I recommend. But if you WANT something different in your life…you are going to have to DO something different. More importantly you are going to have to BE someone you’ve never been before.

I also encourage your feedback and progress as we go along. I’m not really interested in your opinion if you aren’t going to do what I recommend. Posting comments just to argue or be right about how hopeless it all is will get you nowhere and and will only keep what you got. There are other blogs for that. This one isn’t it. So here’s to a bright future…

A Book on Quitting that Everyone Should Read

Seth Godin is one of the most forward thinking business people on the planet. I”m proud to recommend this book!

This book is about the places in life where we experience a dip. Whether you are experiencing a dip in producing results in life or a dip in living a life that you love….this book addresses it. It’s a profound idea on how to get yourself out of that dip.

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