This morning I ate a big bowl of healthy cereal and added a ton of sugar to it because I just felt like it. I had already had a double espresso with three teaspoons of sugar…one for each shot plus an extra to sweeten. I know when this all started back was when, just before the holidays started, I ate a bowl of cereal that I didn’t measure with my measuring cup. I knew what a portion size was, but I was in a hurry and quite honestly didn’t care. It was just before Thanksgiving. We had just moved into the new place and still unpacking boxes. There were a ton of excuses I made…pick any of them and they would have been valid. The point being that in that moment I decided to not honor my word with my diet and thus began a slippery slope.
Thanksgiving came…I ate a good amount of all sorts of stuff and more. It was Thanksgiving after all and everyone was doing it. I’d get back on after the holiday. But then the holiday parties started. I’m a caterer and I had parties just about every day of the month…more excuses. And so it went on and on. I had slowly gained back 10 pounds of the 30+ pounds I had lost and it didn’t take much time for me to regret throwing out the fat clothes. The pants I was so proud to buy, didn’t fit. The partner’s jeans still fit, but barely. The cute shorts I bought…not so cute anymore.
Until today. I’ve been seriously wondering what happened to my momentum…I was doing so great, feeling amazing and clean, but all of that possibility and freedom and determination was out the window. My long slide down the integrity slide had reached bottom again. Luckily…I haven’t gained back all 30 pounds I’d lost over the summer. I was walking in the grocery store today and something hit me. I suddenly remembered all the good foods I ate over the summer. I remembered the healthy snacks. I remembered the portion sizes. It all came back to me and I was stunned. I was stunned that I hadn’t remembered until then. Where had it been all this time? None of it mattered…it was all right there in front of me. The grace of a Higher Power or something had swept upon me and I remembered. For today…I remembered that it was all about nutrition.
The shopping I did today was pretty awesome. I have clean foods that I enjoy and that work well with my body. I have enough to prepare my snacks for each day and I feel empowered again. So for today I got some power with my health and that makes this a great day.